I'll Show Him!

Women have many "I'll Show Him" moments where they just won't answer the phone to feel like they are in control (even though they aren't and have checked their phone to see if he called about ten thousand times that day) or will go out and flirt with another guy to make themselves feel better even though their boyfriend isn't even around. All of these "I'll Show Him" moments really never work in your favor. Especially if you are part of the large population of women who think about their boyfriend waaaay more than they ever should and then try to play it off like they don't care. Bottom line is...if you don't answer the phone, that could have been the one free moment your guy had that day and when you call back and he doesn't answer, well then your plan just went down the drain and now you are disappointed because you didn't get to talk to him. If you are flirting with another guy and he's not even around to see it, then really your focus is still on your boyfriend the entire night and you are trying waaay too hard and I'm pretty sure this really isn't going to help you out. So if you find yourself thinking "I'll Show Him", just pass, stop playing games (because you wouldn't want him to play games with you) and just be real.

Going from opinionated to passive is a recipe for disaster

Many women especially in our generation are independent, opinionated, strong, smart, and so much more. So why is it when we get into a relationship that we try extremely hard to be "the cool girlfriend" we think we should be and we think our boyfriends want. I'm pretty sure that it's annoying as hell to constantly have to make the decisions in a relationship and yet constantly hold back and take the "I don't care, we can do whatever you want" road. Well that may be cute at first but I'm pretty sure if you stay with this guy long enough it's going to get old quickly. Not too mention whether you realize it or not you are holding back a lot and that's going to catch up to you. It soon turns into you being resentful and these feelings come out in smaller issues which really have nothing to do with anything. Keep in mind the reason your boyfriend was probably attracted to you from the beginning was because you had opinions and spoke them (or maybe it was just because you had a nice ass or chest). Anytime you try to hard to hold back how you are feeling it's going to catch up to you one way or another (I'm gonna git cha git cha git cha git cha...sorry had to).

Setting pretend deadlines is never a good idea

I know many women who wait around for their guy to call or to make the effort in some way or another and set these deadlines for what they want. Basically you are building yourself up to almost for sure be disappointed. You should never let yourself say, well if he doesn't call by 9 I'm going to be pissed. Or if he doesn't send me flowers on my birthday then it's over! How the hell is the guy supposed to know what you want? Just because you set these pretend deadlines and ultimatums for him doesn't mean he has a clue that you want these things to happen. If you want him to call by 9, then call him. If you want him to get you flowers...well hope for the best and get over it if he doesn't, unless you are a girl who'd rather demand he do something just so he does and that makes you happy. The moral is, voice what you want, don't wait around and hope he will do it without you telling him what you want and then get disappointed when it doesn't happen. Men are clueless, they need more guidance then ever. And we wonder why the hell men can't figure us out ladies?

Congratulations! You just let him ruin your entire night!

So you get into a fight with your boyfriend. I always encounter the girl all sad and upset in the bathroom at a bar or club, staring at her phone every two seconds, hoping he will call and say he's sorry, bitching to her friends in the meantime. Well...Congratulations! You just let him ruin your entire night! Do you girls really think that when you fight with a man and he decides to go out with his friends that he is in the bathroom waiting for you to call? Um...no, his take is...wow what a shitty fight, I'm going to drink more and have an awesome time with my friends to make up for it. While you are getting more and more angry every second. Girls...do me a favor, go out, don't let a guy ruin your night EVER, and show him by having the best time of your life. There is nothing worse then going out and having you sit and pout all night and ruin everyones night including your own.

Are men really the ones with the communication problems?

Here are a few examples to put you on the same page. Do you ever pout when you are mad? Say you are fine, when really you want to kill someone? Well if you are a women, I'm sure you are guilty of these foolish games. Why we do this...because we think it's a great way to keep up appearances and be the agreeable women that we think others prefer us to be. We don't want to come off as the bitch, and a lot of times these tactics come out when we are put in an awkward position in front of his friends or something that he shouldn't have done in the first place. But let's get real here girlies, is this really a healthy or real way to deal with the problem. I have to give props to the men on this one, who don't pout they just say what they think and get it over with. Next time you find yourself about to pout and draw out a fight for a few extra, long, tiring days...do us all a favor and just deal with the problem then, speak your mind and then move on. Don't do it half ass and speak your mind and then go pout some more and stay mad. Say what you are thinking, discuss that issue, and then MOVE ON. This is a great exercise that could save you and everyone else a lot of time.

Introduction

I have fortunately/unfortunately inherited the gift/curse of being the village counselor to everyone I know. My tactics at times can be described as sort of Dr. Phil-esque without the annoying southern accent. Life can be quite simple, and yet I watch people put so much energy into complicating their lives day after day and I really feel like there are easy solutions to seeing and knowing how to fix most problems that come your way. So ask away, if I help...woohoo, if not, well your life isn't any worse off.